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Rude Bride - Polite Bride


There are lots of questions that arise while planning a wedding, and many of them center around etiquette. Most of the other questions seem to be about how to fit everything into a budget that the bride and groom can afford. Between those two categories, there are plenty of issues that may crop up. Here are some of the most common wedding dilemmas, and how they would be handled by a rude bride or a polite bride.

Dilemma No. 1: The wedding budget is tight, and something will have to be cut to make it all work out. The rude bride will cut things that do not benefit her personally, like bridesmaid jewelry gifts and wedding favors. The polite bride will keep the things which are gifts to others like the bridesmaid jewelry, and will instead trim her budget in ways that affect only her, such as forgoing the limo or doing her own manicure at home.

Dilemma No. 2: The quotes for the catering and bar bills are sky high. The rude bride will try to push the costs of refreshments onto her guests by having a cash bar or "inviting" her guests to a restaurant following the ceremony but expecting everyone to pay their own way. Another rude tactic is to skip adequate food and drinks, such as serving a small selection of appetizers at a time of day when guests can reasonably expect a full meal. The polite bride knows that hospitality means graciously hosting her guests in whatever manner she can afford. That might mean having a smaller guest list to be able to afford a proper dinner, or it could mean having a simple cake and punch reception in the church hall for a very large group. The polite bride makes the comfort of her guests a top priority.

Dilemma No. 3: A bridesmaid gets pregnant and will be in her third trimester by the time the wedding rolls around. The rude bride will unceremoniously kick the pregnant bridesmaid out of her wedding party. What if she draws attention away from the bride on the wedding day? And who wants a bridesmaid that cannot fit into a size 2 dress anyway? The polite bride, on the other hand, will put the comfort of her bridesmaid above having a perfectly matched set of attendants. She will encourage her friend to remain in the bridal party if she feels up to it, or will graciously allow the pregnant bridesmaid to bow out if that is her preference. The polite bride will offer her friend an alternate role of honor if she cannot serve as a bridesmaid, such as a ceremony reader.

Dilemma No. 4: The bride and groom cannot scrape up enough money for a really great honeymoon. The rude bride will try to get her guests to pay for her wedding trip by demanding cash instead of wedding gifts. Some brides will even try to shake down the guests at the reception by having a money tree or dollar dance with the bride (yes, I know it is customary in certain cultures, but if yours is not one of them, it is just plain rude!). The polite bride will not expect her guests to finance her honeymoon. She will plan the trip that she and her fiance can afford at that time, even if it is just one night in a nice hotel, and will save up for a more lavish honeymoon on their six month or one year anniversary.

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