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New Political Jargon


With President Obama's recent war speech burned freshly burned into our minds, I thought it time to re-examine the meaning of common political jargon. But common political jargon is boring, so I made up my own. Enjoy!

Politics
from poly (multiple) + tics (involuntary twitches); the spasms that people exhibit when their actions conflict with their values

Talibanter
the light banter that Taliban fighters engage in on their off time

Hilarious
when Secretary of State Clinton makes a joke to a foreign diplomat that is lost in translation

Demockery
the special style of democracy evidenced by recent Afghan elections

Obamanation
a fundamentalist term for a politician who defies God's will by ensuring that more people have health insurance

Diplomacy
an American term for pre-invasion rhetoric

The United Mistakes of America
U.S. foreign policy post-WWII

Terrorism
a crime committed by persons whose politics the government doesn't like

Insurgents
resistance fighters opposed to U.S. occupation

Freedom Fighters
resistance fighters opposed to Russian (or Soviet) occupation

Capitalism
expressing one's fear of public disclosure by using all caps in a memo

Governmeant
what the government actually meant to do, before it decided there were no funds available

Lobbyist
a person who hangs out in a lobby (What's the big deal?)

Star Chamber of Commerce
when the Chamber of Commerce holds secret trials for dissident companies like Apple Computers

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