With
President Obama's recent war speech burned freshly burned into our minds, I
thought it time to re-examine the meaning of common political jargon. But
common political jargon is boring, so I made up my own. Enjoy!
Politics
from poly
(multiple) + tics (involuntary twitches); the spasms that people exhibit when
their actions conflict with their values
Talibanter
the light
banter that Taliban fighters engage in on their off time
Hilarious
when
Secretary of State Clinton makes a joke to a foreign diplomat that is lost in
translation
Demockery
the special
style of democracy evidenced by recent Afghan elections
Obamanation
a
fundamentalist term for a politician who defies God's will by ensuring that
more people have health insurance
Diplomacy
an American
term for pre-invasion rhetoric
The United
Mistakes of America
U.S. foreign
policy post-WWII
Terrorism
a crime
committed by persons whose politics the government doesn't like
Insurgents
resistance
fighters opposed to U.S. occupation
Freedom
Fighters
resistance
fighters opposed to Russian (or Soviet) occupation
Capitalism
expressing
one's fear of public disclosure by using all caps in a memo
Governmeant
what the
government actually meant to do, before it decided there were no funds
available
Lobbyist
a person who
hangs out in a lobby (What's the big deal?)
Star Chamber
of Commerce
when the
Chamber of Commerce holds secret trials for dissident companies like Apple
Computers
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